Mean Girls 2

I'm watching "Mean Girls 2". On purpose.

And while I'm pretty sure that the message of "Mean Girls" was that girls should be nice to each other, it appears that the message of "Mean Girls 2" is that there is a reason that some movies go straight to video.

Incidentally, I think there is a hierarchy of actors. Here goes, from top to bottom:

1. Actors in critically acclaimed, award winning movies
2. Actors in B movies
3. Actors in most other movies
4. Porn stars
5. People who play ghosts on the History Channel's "Most Haunted Hotels"
6. People who provide commentary for VH1 compilation shows (i.e. "I Love the 80's")
7. Actors in "Mean Girls 2"

How to Make a Nancy Meyers Film

Step 1: Find a really cool idea for a movie, like a womanizer who can suddenly read women's thoughts or two divorced people having an affair with each other. Then ruin it. Spectacularly.

Step 2: Hire a strong female lead with loads of Emmy nominations and major acting ability but direct her in such a way to make her look like she's a B actress from a homemade horror film.

Step 3: Hire a skeevy male lead, preferably one who has been in trouble with law because he abused his ex-wife, and try to make him look dashing, but succeed in making him look about as appealing as a flasher on a kindergarten playground.

Step 4: Start out strong, so in the first 10 minutes people watching the movie think "It looks like I'm in a for a treat!"

Step 5: Allow the film to slowly disintegrate into drivel so that by the time the movie is over your audience, like a frog in a pot being brought to a boil, envies Helen Keller in a way that only people who have sat through an entire Nancy Meyers movie can understand.